Once upon a time, in a land called Popcorn, lived an adventurous prince. He was an honest and generous prince, who masturbated merrily until his parents died.
Then, the prince was alone. With the king and queen gone, the castle was empty, all but himself and his toys. He played with his toys, and he played with himself, until he blistered and calloused, and called out for help.
A beautiful maiden, not far away, heard his distress, and thought he was gay. Quickly, she rushed to come to his aid. When she reached the castle, the prince was so taken, he asked her to be his bride. Though it was a courageous gesture, the maiden was appalled to discover that he was attracted to women. She trembled, and heaved, and screamed when he touched her. Soon, he again was alone.
Weeks and months passed as the emptiness remained. No maiden in Popcorn would marry him. The prince grew restless and reckless, and wandered off with delirium one night. When he awoke the next morning, it was in an unknown land. So he continued to wander, exploring without care.
Every new path excited, and every new maiden was fair, and soon he found another land where things were newer there. He journeyed on, from land to land, meeting new people, and learning that he wasn't liked. The maidens teased and mocked, and buttered their breasts despite him. They were sad, imperfect, and unworthy. So on and on farther he went.
Hundreds of miles and days from his home, his body ached and thirsted. He stopped at a pond where he soaked his feet, and reclined in the grass to stroke it. He thought about his parents, and castle, and all that had led him so far. Tears dripped with no shame as he pulled at himself and felt lost. Then, to his shock, a wave from the pond slashed upon his lap. The prince shrieked in surprise, and shriveled with a shiver. That's when he saw her. A maiden like no other.
She spun and bobbed in the center of the pond, like a broke and swollen buoy. She moaned, and stretched at flaps of her flesh, and slapped and caressed the water. She watched him watch her toss and froth, softly swimming closer. Air bubbled from her crevice, propelling her smoothly into his arms. They made love immediately, beastly and wet. It lasted long enough.
The prince felt released of his burden, exhilarated, and desired. The maiden, who was exhausted, dried on shore, and began to smell. He kissed her cheek without waking her, and tiptoed back the way he came. The emptiness seemed like a childish memory, and he longed for the comforts of home. So, surefooted and renewed, he quested to return to Popcorn, his people, and throne.
He arrived rejoicing, eager for a sandwich. There he ate, sat, and pleasured himself merrily ever after, for the rest of his days, never wanting for relationships again.
~The End~
